just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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