All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
