Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
