Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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