Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
