we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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