when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
