it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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