I think scott just propositioned me for sex
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
