it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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