He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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