how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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