So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
