So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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