I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
