where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
