I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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