Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
