Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
