what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
