I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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