i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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