Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
