She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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