i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
