Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
