he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
