I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
