Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Randomize
