My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Never underestimate the power of titties
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