had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
