the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
