you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
