Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
