You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Help. Why am I so naked?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
