Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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