shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
