i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
