The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
