I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
