Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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