She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
