check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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