I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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