Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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