Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
you never un-have a 4some
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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