Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
