talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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