This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
