my mouth tastes like poor choices
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
