so that wasnt chicken after all
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
